An Inspirational Story of Faith, Hope & Happy Healing: Throwback Edition

I recently came across this in the archives. It's dated November 25, 2016. One of my very first writings from the year I really began my intentional Journey of Self. I remember writing it; it was the day after Thanksgiving—a very memorable Thanksgiving. It was pouring outside, and I had fallen asleep with the girls when I put them to bed. I awoke from an unconscious state to the loudest thunder, almost sitting upright in bed, and it hit me: I have to write.

I went to my computer to compose what I thought would be a few paragraphs, and I ended up finishing the more-than-a-few-page essay at exactly 12:16am (I remember the time because it was my birthday, 12/16). It's good to look back and see how far you've come. It's also good to see where my mindset was at the beginning of this journey. I see ways I've grown and changed, and I also see the foundations I was laying back then, which have led to the life and reality I am experiencing today. 

Without any further ado, I give you a glimpse into my mind 5 years ago:

I think Will Smith, AKA 'The Fresh Prince of Bel Air', said it best: “My life got flipped, turned upside down...” We’ve all been there, haven’t we? At one time or another, in one way or another? Sometimes it feels like life is throwing things at us faster than we can handle them. 

That’s why I'm writing my story...and sharing it. This IS my story...a story of fresh starts, new beginnings, learning life’s lessons through past experiences, and how we possess the ability to create our own realities. It’s a story about not only chasing your dreams, but LIVING them. Everything you need to live your best life is already inside you, you just have to have faith in yourself and in others, and you must have faith in humanity as a whole. 

Every day we have here on Earth is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present. We cannot live in the past, for it will make us sad and/or angry. And living in the future will only bring about fear, anxiety and worry. It is when we can finally learn to live IN THE MOMENT, that we will truly find peace, harmony, and happiness in all aspects of our lives. 

My faith is very important to me. It’s the one thing I know I will always have; it’s the only guarantee, because it is completely in my hands. All of our material possessions, and even the loved ones we hold so dear, can be taken from us at a moment’s notice. But our faith—our belief that the universe is always working together for the greater good— that is something that no one or no thing can ever take away. Faith is not restricted to age, race, religion, background, lifestyle choices or social status. Faith is believing in something bigger than yourself. Faith is COMPLETE trust or confidence in something or someone. There is absolutely NO room for doubt; they cannot coexist. 

Faith, quite simply, is the ability to believe in something without the need to understand it...no questions asked. When you have faith, anything is possible. We, as humans, are not limited by our abilities, but only by our doubts and fears. We must fill our minds with only positive thoughts and focus on what we want, not on what we don’t want. Do not ever doubt yourself, and do not worry. So many of the things we worry about never come to pass. 

Believe in yourself. Believe in others. Encourage and empower those around you. Use positive affirmations and uplifting words. The energy you put out to the universe is returned to you in kind. Always strive to be a shining light. Selflessness is fulfilling in profound ways. When we stop thinking about what we can get, and start focusing our energy on what we can give, that’s when miracles start to happen. Never underestimate the ability you have to impact someone else’s life. 

The more you have, the more you have to share with others, be it your time, resources, finances, or anything else. When we understand how to consciously separate ourselves from the material world, we make room for the spiritual world, and that is where we are able to connect to our higher selves and start the transformation process of becoming all that our heart desires. Perhaps your dreams are for a certain career or to travel and have adventures, or maybe they’re that of love and family. Regardless, it all starts when you ignite the divine spark inside yourself and live your life peacefully and harmoniously. 

You must strive to create balance in all areas. Live your life with joy, purpose, and passion every day. Worry less about what your neighbors say, and more about what your own conscience says. And above all else, you must always be true to yourself. 

We’ve all heard it before: "Everything happens for a reason." Well, guess what?! It’s true. Everything DOES happen for a reason, and nothing happens by chance. Of course, not all things that happen make sense. In fact, many things seem quite senseless, particularly when talking about children, who are essentially innocent beings. But the thing we must keep in mind is that we have been given the universal gift of free will. This reiterates that we have the power and ability to create our reality by our thoughts and actions. It is how we choose to handle these unexpected or difficult challenges and curve balls that life throw us that dictates our future. 

Not all of life’s experiences are positive ones, but they are all lessons to be learned. When we can learn to find the best in every situation, and then make the best of all the others, that is when we become an inspiration to others. Perception truly is reality. 

Sickness, loss, or tragedy are not the times when we should lose faith—they are the times that we need it the most. Maintaining our faith and keeping our hope alive are the keys to shining a light on our darkest hour. Letting go of negative emotions and negative energy, particularly in the most trying of times, opens the doors for positive to enter. Living life with a newfound purpose and focusing only on putting good vibrations out into the universe will guarantee good coming back to you. 

Be patient. Always. Patience is a virtue. The best way to teach patience is by showing it. Although we may not always understand why things are happening, you must trust that the answers will be revealed in the divine right timing. Do not try to rush things. Go with the flow. 

Learn to forgive. Forgiveness is the most powerful thing you can do. You cannot change the past, but when you choose to forgive, you can change the future. Forgiving others is not weak...it takes the strongest of people to find it in their heart to forgive. 

Treat others right, even when they are not treating you right. Don't act mean to spite the way you are being treated; instead, show kindness and mercy despite it. When you live your life with dignity and grace, you become a shining example to others. HINT: Your life becomes a masterpiece when you learn to master peace. 

But do not be fooled into thinking it is only others you must forgive. You must also learn to forgive YOURSELF. Look in the mirror and say aloud, "Shame OFF me!" Do not go through life blaming yourself for past mistakes. Forgive yourself so that you can move on. We all make mistakes. Remember, we are only human. If happiness is what you desire, it all starts with you. Forgive yourself. Love yourself. Forgive others. You will see your life begin to become filled with joy where sadness, anger, hurt, resentment, depression and hopelessness once prevailed. 

If you would have asked me 8 years ago, following the miscarriage of my first baby, who was due on 3.11.08, “What’s the reason for this happening?”, I would not have had an answer for you, or at least not the same answer I have today. For reasons related to losing the baby, I took a part time job at the hospital, and it was there that I met my soul sister. We instantly connected...it was as if we had known each other for ages. 

Within a few months, we had started a business together, and then several months after that, another one. We put on a semi-annual gift and general merchandise market that hosted over 100 vendors. In addition to providing a source of income for hundreds of local businesses twice a year for over 5 years, the event also sponsored a fundraiser of some kind at each show, which benefited a local child with life threatening condition.

I met so many wonderful, amazing, and talented people over the years of putting on our market events, and my life is better because of each and every relationship I have made and each and every lesson I have learned (and trust me, we were totally winging it when we started! We had only both been vendors ourselves, but that is a far cry from actually putting on an event of that magnitude! But we had faith that we could do it, and we did!). When we can build strong relationships within the community, we are essentially building a strong community. 

Today, however, I know that wasn’t the only reason I lost my first pregnancy. My first born daughter, Ella, was born on 9.30.09, and from the moment she took her very first breath, I knew my life would never be the same again. She was my Rainbow Baby. She was destined to me. She’s an old soul who was put on this Earth to teach me valuable life lessons. I cannot imagine my life without her in it, but I never would have been given the opportunity to meet her had the timing been different...I became pregnant with her just as I would have been entering my third trimester with my first pregnancy. 

Ella was due on 9.15.09, but as you might have noticed, just wasn’t ready to make her grand appearance for another few weeks! I chose to have a water birth and wanted her to come naturally (more on this in a future post, which I’ll link here when I write it), so instead of being induced, I patiently waited for her to come on her own...two weeks later. Everything happens as it should, when it should, and trust me when I tell you, she was worth the wait! 

My second daughter was born on 9.11.11, the 10 year anniversary of the memorable day for our country. Her due date was 9.1.11, and even though most everyone told me your second child always comes sooner than your first, I felt sure that this baby would also come late. I remember thinking how neat it would be for her to be born on 9.10.11, because after all, what a great birthdate! 

I also remember thinking that I did not want her birthday to be on September 11th, however, because of the collective memories associated with that date. Nevertheless, that is the day that my little Addy decided to make her own grand entrance into this world, and it was just another reminder that we don’t always get to control what happens, but we can control the way we choose to respond. I believe the universe works together for our greater good. Although I didn’t consider this before having her (you know, back when I was thinking I didn’t want her to be born on this day...), I now realize that it was the perfect day for her to be born. Because now I have a reason to celebrate that day, and now I have another perspective. I will always remember all the men, women and children whose lives were lost or forever changed on 9.11.01. And each year on my baby’s birthday, we will celebrate her life.

Let me backtrack just a little. I hold a B.A. from LSU with a concentration in Graphic Design. I’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit, so I started my own design company right after graduation, doing freelance design work (logos, etc.), as well as a silk screen printing business. My sophomore year, at 19, I met a boy. We would go on to date for the next 5 years before getting married. The year following our wedding, he wanted to start his own business. No longer finding joy working indoors, he dreamed of owning a lawn maintenance company where he could work outside everyday. I was supportive and on board 100%. I even ended up learning as much as I could about landscaping and decided to get my license as a landscape contractor so that I could run my own landscape crew to compliment his lawn company. In doing so, I was able to provide jobs for friends and family members over the years, which was both rewarding and wonderful. 

In fact, my sister was one of my first employees, and then she went on to start her own landscape company, which led her to meet her amazing husband, who also works in the industry; remember, everything happens for a reason, and nothing happens by chance! 

My dearest friend came on board after the unexpected death of their mother rocked their world. They decided to leave their career in property management for a change of pace. As they said, they needed to feel the earth in between their fingers. It proved to be therapy for the soul. They since returned to that career in property management, but the time we spent working together outside, in the dirt, connected to nature was something I’ll always remember.

I continued to print shirts and work as a bartender while running my landscape company. It wasn’t until we decided we were ready to start a family that I finally left the service industry. I am so grateful for the 10 years I spent in the service industry (I started working as a hostess in high school), as the people I met, relationships I established, and things I learned have proven to be invaluable to me as I have gone through life. 

Now, let's fast forward back to Addy being born. She was only a week or two old when I decided to paint a Halloween bucket for my almost 2 year old and post a photo on my Facebook page. Little did I know that bucket would open the door for what would go on to become my career for the next 5 years!! Blessed with a steady hand and a passion for creating art, I happily welcomed the new opportunity to be able to work at home, especially with 2 children under the age of two! What started as one Halloween bucket for my daughter, evolved into a thriving Etsy business. 

Not only has it allowed me to provide for my family, but it's such an amazing feeling knowing that there's a little piece of my heart and soul scattered all around this world. I am grateful for the continued love and support of my loyal clients, and I cherish the lasting relationships I have made with so many of them over the years. 

So, here we are, Thanksgiving holidays just passed, and Christmas right around the corner, a new year ringing in before we know it. These past 15 months have been life changing for me. This year has been one of self discovery, self awareness and self improvement. 

Last August, my husband of 10 years and I mutually decided that our relationship was no longer serving us for the best. We made wonderful memories together and were blessed with 2 amazing little girls; however, we were very young when we started dating, and after 15 years together, we simply realized we had grown up and grown apart. Our dreams and goals were no longer in line with one another, and while we still loved and cared about each other, the differences began to become magnified as we got older, so we agreed we would make better friends than we were husband and wife. 

Naturally, the first several months were a little rocky...keep in mind, that's a pretty huge adjustment to make. It's extremely emotional, and it's no surprise that we each had our less than glorious moments, but we knew it was the right decision, and we got through it. We also knew how important it was to get along and work together to co-parent our girls, for the example we set for them would make an everlasting impression on the way they viewed themselves and relationships down the road. 

I explained to the girls, who were 3 and 5 at the time, by putting it into an example they could relate to. I asked them to tell me things the used to like when they were 'little' that they don't like anymore (because in their minds, they are 'BIG' now!). Ella said she used to like horses, but now she likes zebras, and she used to like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but now she likes My Little Ponies. I told her that Daddy and I were very young when we met, and we liked all the same things. But as we got older, the things we liked changed, just like the things they like change as they get older. I reminded them how sometimes she and Addy argue when they can't agree on what movie to watch or what game to play, and I explained that the same thing can happen to grown ups. When they don't like all the same favorite things anymore, sometimes it's very hard for them to find things to do together that they both enjoy. I assured them that we wanted each other to be very happy, and we just agreed that being friends would make us the happiest. 

The girls and I moved into an apartment on my parent's property, behind their house, and I absolutely adore our little space. It's so cozy! The walls are adorned with uplifting and inspirational quotes and decor that makes me happy. It's so very important to create an environment that reflects who you are (your true self) and the life you want to live. 

Remember, the things we think today help to create our lives tomorrow. We have the ability to create our reality by our thoughts and actions. I encourage everyone to surround themselves with "happy scatter”, as I like to call it. If it makes you smile, uplifts your spirit, encourages you, or inspires you, surround yourself with it. And don't limit this only to the decor inside your home. 

Take the time to make the bed each morning and wash the dishes in the sink. If you have a yard, pull weeds, plant flowers, keep your environment and surroundings nice. Recycle. Eat clean. Exercise and stay active. Explore. Have adventures. Be spontaneous. This, too, uplifts the spirits. Life is what we make it. Make it great! 

And it is so important to be grateful for all the blessings in your life. Giving thanks sends out positive energy and good vibrations into the universe, which will be returned to you in the form of 'good'. Focusing your energy on your desired outcome is the key to manifesting good into your life. In the same respect, that is why it is so important not to allow negative thoughts (thoughts of fear, worry, doubt, anxiety) into your mind, because they, too, may manifest. I'll say it again...we ALL have the ability and power to create our reality. By eliminating negativity from our thoughts and words, we are making room for positivity and abundance to enter into our lives. 

I love the idea of "paying it forward". Every day, think of ways you can pay it forward. Offer help to others, whether that's through encouraging words, a lending hand, a listening ear, going the extra mile or doing something unexpected. And we should do these things for the right reasons, not for our own personal gain. The way it makes you feel inside...that alone should be reason enough. It feels good to help others. It feels good to feel happy to help others! 

Give compliments lovingly and freely. It costs nothing to be kind. Do good things and radiate positivity. Make a conscious effort to refrain from speaking unkindly about and towards others. Lead by example. By allowing your light shine brightly, you will inspire those around you to do the same. 

Imagine walking into a dark cave filled with people, each one holding an unlit candle, and you were the only one with a flame. Though you could not see all the other people, your shining light would illuminate you, making you visible to each of them. And even though the cave would still be very dark, the possibility to fill it with light exists. Now picture yourself using your flame to ignite the fire for the person beside you. Suddenly, the cave becomes a little brighter. With each flame you ignite, you brighten the darkness. It is true that you could singlehandedly light each flame yourself, but this may take a while. What would happen if, with each flame you lit, that person turned and ignited another flame, and then another. And with each flame they lit, that person turned and lit another and then another. Before you knew it, the entire cave would be glowing brightly, and it would all be because you walked in with a fire and chose to share your bright light with others, prompting them to do the same. One person (you) has the ability and power to brighten this world simply by giving the gift of their shining light. Be that shining light. Always. 

Our inherent ability to create our own realities by our thoughts and actions also means that we can change the world for the better. There is hope for this world and for humanity, but remember, you must have faith in that truth. As humans, we simply don't know what we don't know. What does that mean? Well, lots of things. One example would be that we don't know what others are going through. Some people do a very good job of hiding the struggles they are going through in their life, but keep in mind, just because they are not verbalizing them, doesn't mean they are not having a difficult time. 

Do not judge. Do not assume. Be kind, loving, helpful, and most importantly, compassionate. Show empathy and patience. Think back to a time when you were going through a difficult time or having a really rough day and someone said or did something that was hurtful. No one likes feeling that way, so you should always be conscientious of the way you speak to and treat others to ensure you are never the one making another feel the same way you felt when you were hurt. Taste your words before spitting them out. THINK. Make sure everything you say and do is coming from a place of love. People may forget what you said or what you did, but they will never forget how you make them feel. Make them feel good...it will make you feel good in the process. 

The energy we put out is the energy we receive back. If you feel like your life is lacking, take a look at what kind of vibes you are putting out there, but please be sure to be honest with yourself. Do not let your ego get in the way. You will not be doing yourself any favors by not being honest with yourself. If there are areas of your life where you feel you could be a better person or a better friend/parent/child/sibling/co-worker/student/etc., then by all means, make those positive life changes, and you will realize how your own life will improve. 

If you make a mistake or act in a way that you later realize was not too cool, swallow your pride and apologize. Take responsibility for the energy you bring into the situation. When in doubt, always let your conscious be your guide. Another example of how we don't know what we don't know, is simply our lack of knowledge or awareness of information. Be knowledge seeking, and learn as much as you can about as many things as you can. The more you know, the better equipped you are to handle life! Minds are like doors, they work better when they're open. You may not always agree with another's point of view, but you should always respect it. 

Peace starts within, and peace can heal anything. Our fears, worries, judgements, insecurities, opinions and beliefs cause us to be at constant war with ourselves in our minds. Essentially, we are our worst enemy. The things we perceive to be right or wrong shape how we interpret the world around us. Perception is reality; thankfully, however, we can create our own realities. We need to focus less on our differences and more on our similarities. 

Just think if we all adopted Ziggy Marley's ideal, LOVE IS MY RELIGION. Suddenly, we all have the SAME mentality. When we all want peace, and we commit ourselves to finding peace in our own lives, then we are all working towards the same goal of bringing peace into this world. The energy of love is the strongest of all, and of course, requires love for yourself. When you treat each and every aspect of your life with love, the universe will shower you with love. Peace, joy, happiness and harmony will fill your life, and the more you have, the more you have to give. 

Honor your elders. Nurture the young. Pay close attention to the lessons you can learn from both. Listen to your gut, your intuition; that is your inner self—your higher self—lovingly guiding you to make the right choices that will manifest in bringing you all that you want and need. Remember, you already possess everything you need to live your best possible life...to live your dream. Have faith. Have hope. Find peace. That's when happy happens and healing begins.