Assignment #6: A Letter to the You Who First Came for Counseling

In August 2020, I made the choice to seek counseling. A decision I made nearly two years prior was still bringing up feelings of guilt and shame, and I was ready to move on.

It wasn't even a "bad" decision*; it was simply a choice. One that consequently affected me way more than I ever imagined it would. I realized this was not in alignment with how I wanted to live, so I found someone I could vibe with and trust, and we began working together.

* I put the word 'bad' in quotes because my beliefs on "good" vs "bad" is worthy of it's own post, which I'll link here once I write it;)

After dedicating the previous 5 years to some major self work (inner work, shadow work, healing, allowing wellness, journey of Self), our sessions seemed to go so smoothly, and she quickly helped me to shift my perspective and move past these lingering, low vibrational emotions of shame and guilt.

She always ended our calls by giving me a writing assignment, which I loved. Writing is cathartic for me, so this was the perfect solution.

Three months into our time together, and it was clear this situation from the past no longer had any power over me. That's when I received Assignment 6: Write a letter to the you who first came in for counseling. 

At the time, it never occurred to me that I may one day share this with anyone (besides her). I certainly never thought it would be the very first blog post I ever made. Life has a funny way of surprising us like that.

And it went like this:

Oh, my dear, sweet child, if you only knew the untold magic that awaits you right around the corner. I know you’re at a crossroads in your life right now. I know things feel uncomfortable and you are doing your best to process residual feelings of shame and guilt for past decisions, but you did it. You took the first step. You showed up here, for yourself. You stopped resisting, and you began the beautiful process of allowing. Allowing wellness. Allowing peace. Allowing forgiveness. Allowing abundance. Allowing Love. 

It’s okay that you stayed in that place a little longer than you would care to admit. It’s okay that you allowed the lower vibrational emotions to shift your frequency for a bit. Because everything you know you are, always were, and ever will be was always there inside you. The unconditional love you have for yourself, the passion and purpose you feel towards life and your soul mission. You may have forgotten your value and worth for a minute, but you will rediscover it, and this time, that knowingness will give you the strength and courage to move mountains. Everything you ever dreamed is manifesting now. 

What you’re noticing is the absence of it in the 3D (touch it, taste it, hear it, see it, smell it), which is why you feel this heaviness. Which is why you feel a sense of sadness, anxiety, and fear. But have faith in the knowledge that it exists in the 5D. It’s already yours. And the only thing you must do in this moment is trust and believe that, with every decision you make, you are decreasing the gap between what you have put into your vibrational vortex by means of desires and intentions, and what you are experiencing in your waking life. 

So, R E L A X. You have untold power and ability to create your own reality by the things you choose to do, say and think. You are a deliberate creator; you do not create by default. The years you have poured into your journey of self love, self awareness, self realization and self actualization will prove to be the best way you could have ever spent your time. 

Because every single thing you have been through and experienced has led you to exactly where you are right now. A place where you are manifesting with ease and momentum. A place where all your wildest dreams are coming to fruition. Oh, you just wait! Your life is exactly on track. 

In the next few months, you will dive even deeper into your mindfulness, yoga and meditation practices than ever before. You will discover new and interesting topics to study. You will align yourself with people, places and events that will shift your entire life. You will experience an encounter with someone that will blow your mind. Energy will flow through your body like 222 volts of electricity. There’s no turning back now. It’s already done. 

Your only job now is to be mindful of every single thought you think. Because you know and understand how the Law of Attraction works. You know that thoughts become things. You know that you don’t manifest what you want, you manifest what you believe. And you know that things are always being worked out behind the scenes for the greater good of all souls involved. 

You know that what is meant for you will not ever pass you by. And you practice the mantra, “the same or better.” You know that someone else doesn’t have to lose for you to win. You know that practicing the art of allowing, tapping and tuning into your Divine Nature, balancing your masculine and feminine energies, and placing yourself in the receptive mode will position you in a place to receive all the blessings that you deserve. You may need a gentle reminder of this from time to time, but you know it’s true. 

Your life is a living testament to the power of the mind. You have come too far to go back. You will never be able to return to an unaware state of mind, so this is your reminder to always be fully present in the moment. Your past does not need you, your future does.

In a few short months, you will look back and exhale a sign of relief. You will be so glad that you stayed your path. Gratitude and appreciation for all that you are will take over. You will feel things you’ve never felt before. You will meet people who will change your life. 

Strangers will comment on the unexplainable (to them) smile that is always present on your face. Some will be drawn to your energy like a moth to a flame. Those are your people. Some will think you’re weird, or crazy. That’s okay, too. 

You will discover your tribe. 

When you find yourself standing in front of your future, staring it in the face, you will understand why every single thing you’ve ever been through had to happen exactly the way it did, and you will realize that you are home. You are safe. You are protected. You are not in danger. 

So keep going, my love. Keep moving forward. Even when it’s hard. Even when it doesn’t make sense. Trust the timing. Trust the process. 

Every new level of your life requires a new version of you. And you, my darling, are capable of anything you put your mind to. Remember not to get ahead of yourself. Live in the moment. Release the attachment to a specific outcome and simply enjoy the ride. Enjoy the seat mates. Because they’re the ones who truly make the ride worthwhile. 

When weeks turn to months and you revisit this message, you will smile again, and let out a quiet laugh. Because you will realize that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be, and everything is happening according to the divine plan. 

Continue to be humble, all the days of your life. Continue to be kind. Continue to do the inner work. Shine your light, and embrace and honor your shadow. Slow down. Inhale. Exhale. Love deeper and harder than ever. Communicate openly and freely. 

You raised your standards for a reason. Set clear boundaries. And don’t ever settle. Pour your heart and soul into all you do. You will reap the benefits in more ways than one, as will those around you. 

Always trust your intuition, your Higher Self. It is Pure Love. It is source energy. The same energy that creates worlds. Armed with this knowledge and unshakable faith, there is truly nothing you can’t be or do or have. You are limitless. You are free. You are a living embodiment of joy, love, peace and bliss. 

Things will happen intrinsically, and this is your reminder to go with the flow. I’m proud of you for the person you chose to become. I see you. Your future self, me, thanks you. I love you. 

I am you. You are me. We are one.