Meditation: A Life Changing Mindfulness Practice for Everyone

Meditation is life changing. Perhaps you are someone who was born into a family where you were taught meditation practices from early childhood and have meditated your entire life, so it’s all you know; I was not. So I can definitively say, as someone who didn’t even know what meditation was until after I turned 30, that developing a meditation practice is life changing. 

Meditation has undoubtedly improved the quality of my life, bringing more love, compassion, empathy, graciousness, mindfulness, happiness, joy, inner peace, and patience. And those are just a few of the things I’ve gained. Now let’s take a look at some of the things I’ve lost: greed, hatred, anger, jealousy, conditional happiness, fear of death, reactivity, pettiness, judgement, unworthiness, insecurity, anxiety, depression. And if you don’t already know this, my journey with depression and anxiety began before the age of 11. Talk about your 180.

I believe this is one of the main reasons I feel called to share the benefits of developing a meditation practice, because of the tremendous effects it has had on my life. If I can do it, anyone can do it, including you. And, I have two young daughters of my own, 10 and 11, the same age I was when I began being medically treated for my depression. Over the past 5 years, since first beginning my own practice, I’ve been able to replace medication with meditation. Life changing, like I said. 

And the idea that I’m able to share the insights and wisdom I’ve acquired with my girls in a way that may help and guide them along their journeys is amazing. What a gift, right? The gift of learning and experiencing the benefits of meditation, not only in their own lives, but in the way they see me. The way I carry myself, speak to myself, interact with others and the world around me—it’s so much healthier than the version of me that existed prior to introducing meditation into my life.

So, what is meditation? Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique—such as mindfulness, or focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity (like breathing, for example)—to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state. 

So, then, what is mindfulness? Perhaps you’re familiar with the word but haven’t really taken the time to explore the depths of what it means. Let’s begin by looking at a simple, but complete, definition of mindfulness: paying attention to the present moment, with curiosity and non-judgement. Essentially, mindfulness if nonjudgemental awareness of your moment-to-moment experience. Most people can understand this definition, at least conceptually. In practice, mindfulness is designed to illuminate some of the most common and stressful ways we can relate to our inner and outer worlds.

The benefits of a mindfulness practice are to help you become present in the “now”—to notice when you may be thinking of the past or the future. So often, our minds tend to wander into the past or into the future without our even realizing it. The only goal of mindfulness is to be fully present with your experience in the here and now. And the “now”, aka the present moment, is not static; it is always changing.

The more we practice mindfulness, the more we become able to truly enjoy, appreciate and thrive in the now. It’s worth noting that in order to reap the full benefits of our mindfulness practice, not only must we be paying attention to the present moment, but we must be doing it with curiosity and non-judgement. This helps us to establish a completely new way of relating to ourselves that fosters openness, relaxation and growth.

I’ll give you an example of the opposite to better illustrate this concept. Commonly, as we observe our thoughts, feelings and actions, we do so with inner dialog full of criticism, judgement, disdain, shame or guilt. These are self-harming attitudes, my friend. I say this because I know first hand. My inner critic was a mean one, constantly filling my mind with negativity. I felt tension, turmoil, unrest, overwhelm, stress, unworthiness, and defeat (plus the criticism, judgement, disdain, shame and guilt, of course). It is not until we can learn to approach our practice with curiosity and non-judgement that we can create a peaceful inner environment and begin to discover our own depths and resources. Our own magic. 

And the beauty of this is that it doesn’t matter your age, origin, socioeconomic status, family history, or current situation—no matter how many years (maybe even decades) of negative mental patterns you may have, if you dedicate to learning and developing a mindfulness practice, you can achieve inner peace. So incredibly powerful for the body and mind.

The only goal of mindfulness is to be fully present with your experience, with what’s happening in the moment, including and centered on what’s happening to you. In other words, the goal of mindfulness is to be fully yourself, without judgement. Unlike most learning, which is focused on the doing, mindfulness is focused on the being. This is probably the biggest distinction between mindfulness and other skills you may learn. But what does that mean?

Well, let’s consider the differences between Being and Doing: Being = non-doing | Doing = effort; Being = safe | Doing = alert; Being = focused on process | Doing = focused on outcome; Being = sensing | Doing = thinking; Being = simple | Doing = complex 

Essentially, the difference is in the ability to go deeper into what is here now, versus believing there is somewhere else we need to go. 

Everything we do in our mindfulness practice requires us to embody nonjudgemental awareness. Through our practice, we learn to trust that life is happening for us, not to us. We gain the ability to trust in our own experiences and in ourselves. We develop a sense of internal validation. Instead of constantly looking outward, seeking, we begin to deepen our trust in what we already know and have always known (but may have forgotten, repressed or suppressed). This trust is key.

Instead of constantly feeling the need to move towards an imagined time or place when we are different or better, we become able to accept and honor where we are now—in the present moment. We begin to give attention and reconnect to the wholeness within us. We realize that we are worthy, deserving, complete and enough exactly as we are right now. This is a really, really great feeling. This doesn’t mean you have no goals of improvement, advancement, development, enlightenment or achievement beyond your current state; it simply means you are able to accept where and who you are right now on the way to where you are going and who you are becoming.

Like I always love to say, you are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress, simultaneously. 

Understand, all these benefits I’ve mentioned so far don’t necessarily happen overnight, or after your first meditation. You may notice some benefits immediately, yes, but overall, this is a gradual movement that develops with consistent practice. Meaning, you must understand that the longer you practice (not necessarily referring to the length of each session, but rather the choice to show up day after day, week after week, month after month, etc), the deeper your transformation from being a seeker to a truster will become, resulting in all the aforementioned benefits. Show up for yourself, over and over again. It is worth it. 

Meditation is so much more than sitting cross legged on the floor in silence with your eyes closed, although that may be the first image that pops into your head when you hear the word. In actuality, meditation can be practiced with your eyes open or closed; seated, standing, lying down, walking, flowing. It can be practiced with a guide, teacher, or on your own. It’s learning new ways of sensing, understanding and responding to everything in our lives, from the simple day-to-day activities (laundry, cleaning, driving, cooking) to the deep questions of meaning, purpose and connection with others and the world around us. 

One idea of our mindfulness practice is to develop a kind, close connection with personal experiences. We all have our own worlds that we bring into our practices, but when we are able to see our personal experiences, difficulties, and challenges as human experiences, difficulties and challenges, this becomes a shift in our understanding. We begin to see that when we heal ourselves, we are able to share that healing with others who share our pain, trials and struggles. Just like hurt people hurt people, healed people can help heal people. Remember that this happens through non-judgement and caring. And with this perspective, we see how our own healing benefits not only us, but the people and world around us, as well. 

Let’s refer back to the Being vs. Doing modes we touched on earlier. If you’re from Western cultures, like me, you are likely more practiced in the Doing half: using a great deal of effort, white-knuckling it through life or work, thinking things through (or more commonly, overthinking), focusing on a particular outcome, focusing on everything that could go wrong, etc. From a mindfulness perspective, Doing mode itself is not ‘wrong’, it’s actually useful and practical, but it becomes problematic if it is your only way to see, understand or respond to experiences. 

What about the Being mode? How can we access this, especially if it’s less familiar to us? Firstly, by recognizing what each mode feels like. You may already be a pro in the Doing mode and know exactly how that feels, so focus now on the Being—feeling safe, sensing your way through an experience by leaning into your intuition, staying focused on the process…

Here’s a quick side note/mindset shift on that last one for anyone who needs to hear it: Focus on the process, and the results will follow. 

Guaranteed. 

So, how can we learn what Being mode feels like? This, my friend, is where meditation comes in. Body scan or breathing practices that bring awareness into the body are wonderful tools for introducing a sense of Being. This helps us to discover inner resources that we may not yet be aware of; nevertheless, they are there. Remember, you already have everything you need inside you. Now it’s simply a matter of learning how to access and unlock it. 

Now you might be saying, “Okay, Kelly, body scan and breathing practices; that’s great. But what are they and how do I do them?” At least that’s what I wondered when I was at the beginning of my meditation journey. If you, too, are at the beginning of your journey, let me start by saying you are exactly where you are meant to be. You are perfect and wonderful and whole, right here, right now. It is never too early or too late to begin a meditation and mindfulness practice. You are not too old or too young. Truly. 

In short, a body scan meditation is one of the most effective ways to begin a mindfulness practice. It can be done lying down, seated, or in other postures. It’s a progressive relaxation process that involves tuning into your body and bringing focused attention on the sensations of your body. You mentally scan your entire body from head to toe (or toe to head), bringing awareness to every single part of your body. You can do a quick body scan, lasting only 3-5 minutes, or you many choose to spend thirty plus minutes on one. 

A breathing practice is one that focuses on the breath, following each inhale and exhale. As you being to notice (without judgement) your thoughts wandering, simply guide them back to your breath, as many times as you need to. 

If you’re new to meditation, the best way to introduce yourself to either is by using a pre-recorded guided meditation or by joining a live meditation class/session with a teacher who will lead you through the entire practice.

Speaking of being new, this is a great time to talk about Beginner’s Mind. Perhaps you’ve heard of this referenced in Zen Buddhism. Beginner’s Mind is a practice of meeting objects, experiences and situations, even those that are very familiar to us, as if for the first time. So instead of worrying that your inexperience as a new practitioner of meditation is a setback, I invite you to see that, from the point of view of Beginner’s Mind, inexperience is actually an asset. 

The topic and practice of meditation is infinite. Some archaeologists date meditation back to as early as 5000 BC, according to Psychology Today. I’m telling you that to say this: we could talk about it forever and ever and ever. I could write about it forever and ever and ever. But I’ll stop here. My hope is that this brief writing started from my heart and soul will spark something inside you. Perhaps the desire to begin a new practice, revisit an old one that has waned over time, or deepen a current one. 

Everything about meditation and mindfulness will help you to reach a higher state of consciousness, which will lead to profound affects in every area of your life over time (a little time, and a lot of time). As you journey down the path of becoming a conscious creator, aka the Creative Director of your life, integrating these practices will be fundamental. 

I would love to be a part of your meditation journey, whether you are at the beginning or have been on it for a while. If you're curious about where to start, you can click here to see a list of some of different types of meditations you may enjoy. I've also created a collection of 10 free guided meditations that you can download and start using today! They include a variety of different meditations, ranging from 5-40 minutes each, and are great for the beginner and the seasoned practitioner alike.

If it’s inner peace you seek, you will find it within your practice. Within yourself. If it’s healing you seek, you will find it within your practice. Within yourself. If it’s a sense of worthiness, connection and belonging that you seek, you will find it within your practice. Within yourself. If it is unconditional love you seek, you will find it within your practice. Within yourself.

As you seek, so shall you find.